COMMENTARY: Don't Make Me Feel Like My Body Is My Enemy

June 26, 2020

My body is not my enemy. It isn't my fault that I am born into a body that you find admirable -- whether it's my pale or dark skin, big or small chest. 

I appreciate your admiration but understand that there is a proper situation in expressing that. I am going to my school to study. I am going to work to earn money. I am going to jog to keep my body healthy. I did not wear my uniform or my sports bra for you to express what you want to do to me.

If I go out wearing my long dress, my denim shorts, or my simple blouse, understand that I did not do it to be harassed. I did it because I trust that the society I live in wouldn't see it as an invitation to make me feel unsafe.

Or was it always been an invitation but from an unknowing host?

I understand you like me. You feel an urge to get my attention but you are making me uncomfortable. And more importantly, don't blame me for your actions.

Don't blame my denim skirt, don't blame my shirt. Don't blame my jeans, don't blame my bikini, don't blame my dress. If you feel like I am dressed inappropriately in a particular place, approach me and express your opinion and let's put the subject under the test of debate. My point is, your opinion that I dress inappropriately is not your ticket to harassing me.

You can rant about my inappropriateness. You can criticize me all you want but do not think that it is your excuse to make me feel unsafe in my own skin.

Don't blame my body. Blame your inability to think as a decent person. And more than anything, do something to change your mindset. Don't you know it is a criminal act?

Admire as much as you want, fantasize as much as you want. Heck, you can play with yourself thinking about me as much as you want but do not act on it resulting to harassment on my part.

Please do not make me feel like my body is my enemy.

COMMENTARY: Harassment and Violence Come From Any Gender

June 26, 2020

It also comes from any age and everyone is equally vulnerable.

Recently, I've been seeing a lot of content related to catcalling and sexual harassment on social media. It is admirable that people speak out since there is a big reason behind it -- years and years of shushing from a highly misogynistic society.

However, we should also take the chance to give voice and attention to the least likely victims -- children and men.

One post in particular made my blood boil. It is a photo of a boy bombarded be sexualized comments from who seem to be young women.

It isn't wrong to admire how a person looks but always put it into proper context and situation. The boy in the photo was even wearing his uniform. He was there to study not to be asked with questions if he can 'breed' women. It seems shocking but it does happen. Not only to the young boy but even to older males.

Consent is the magic word. Is it wrong to talk dirty to a person? To ogle at him or her? To send him or her explicit photos? It isn't as long as there is consent between the two of you. 

Harassment comes in many forms, the perpetrators sometimes women as well. It could also come from lesbians or gay people. We all should be wary among ourselves and not think that perpetrators only come from one gender.

It is true that some barbaric traits are still hardwired into our brains but as a society that has advanced a long way, we should know better.

THOUGHTS: I Have Become A Better Person Because Of You

June 24, 2020

So many people around the world means so many lost connections. And I am glad that we didn't fall on that list. 

We did not look for each other. It was all an accident -- a concoction of events, circumstances and situations that led us to meeting each other.

And I am grateful. We did not end each other's sentences. In fact, we clashed, we fought and debated each other. But we also laughed, and felt sad and hopeful and down.

You gave me a whirlwind of emotions. Romance is not our goal, we just enjoy each other's existence. And your words, your presence, you just being there have taught me so many things about the world, you and myself.

It wasn't your goal to teach me, but you did anyway. I am happy we crossed paths and I don't want it any other way. For all the pain, happiness and contentment our unlikely friendship has brought us, I am a better person because of you.

THOUGHTS: I am not another battle you have to fight

June 22, 2020

I am not your enemy. Always remember that. I don't want to add stress on your already warworn day. There is no need to point our fingers to each other.

You forgot to reply to my messages? You didn't call me on time? You forgot a detail from my story?

I will try and understand. As you would with my imperfections. Let's leave our worries by the door and just breathe for a moment. And then we would talk about how the day went and slowly pick up on where we dropped. 

I am not here to inflict another damage. I am not another battlefield you have to win.

COMMENTARY: Choose to have a CHOICE and ACTUALLY STAND FOR IT

If ever someone needed to hear this today -- I know you are hurting now...

-something I've read from Reddit

THOUGHTS: We always woe the pain others cause to us, but we sometimes forget the pain we inflict to others

June 15, 2020

You are not always the victim.

Sometimes, you are the abuser. Sometimes, you are the one who does the mistreatment.

It is easy to see ourselves as the hero or the protagonist of everything. We are at least, in our own eyes. But here's the truth, you are sometimes the villain.

This is not to invalidate your feelings. This is to make you more aware of the situation you put yourself into. We are so predisposed into making ourselves look perfect that we forget we are not and that we are also vulnerable to causing pain to others. 

It won't make you less of a person to change. If wouldn't make you less of a person to identify your flaws. If anything, seeing what you lack and your wrongs can help you fill the gaps with the right things.

Check your reasoning. Check your actions. Check yourself.

Everyday As Told By Photos -- Reusable Menstrual Pads and Menstrual Cups

June 14, 2020

"refuse what you do not need; reduce what you do need; reuse what you consume; recycle what you cannot refuse, reduce, or reuse; and rot (compost) the rest."

We all want to live greener but I think we could all agree that the situation we live in makes it difficult to do so. Convenience is comfort, and convenience entails a lot of waste most of the time. If you think about it, we throw a lot of stuff. This had been bogging me for a while so I have started to change my lifestyle little by little. 

I am not a green warrior, I admit I still use a lot of stuff and throw a lot of trash. However, I found that I can actually change some of the products I have been using in order to lessen my waste.

One of that is the use of sanitary napkins.

Women use a lot of tampon or sanitary napkin on their menstrual cycle. It irritates me to see how much I put on the waste bin.

I invested in a menstrual cup. You would find a lot of detailed articles about it on the internet but to put it simply, a menstrual cup is something you would put inside your lady parts. It would catch most blood that drips from the cervix. On most women, a menstrual cup could catch most of the blood for 12 hours. 

I enjoyed the convenience of menstrual cups but to tell you the truth, it was quite troublesome to use it. Since my period only lasts for two days, I decided to shift to menstrual pads. Menstrual pads are simply reusable sanitary pads. They might take more time in using them but they were still convenient since I stay home most of the time.

I have been using menstrual pads for a year now and I am not looking back. It feels good not needing to throw away a bunch of sanitary pads. Some people might feel grossed out with the thought of touching your own blood but I personally find it not disturbing at all. Anyways, menstrual blood is the only kind of blood shed not because of violence or accidents. 

If you are interested, I recommend menstrual cups by Anytime Menstrual Cups and menstrual pads by Kanami Pasador.

COMMENTARY: The Greatest Confidence Lies on Feeling Beautiful With Your Own Choice

June 10, 2020

Shaved, waxed, hairy, my armpits and legs have experienced all these. Curly, wavy, straight, my hair were all these. And all were made by my own choices.

I've seen many advertisements selling waxing, shaving and laser hair removal. I am also glad to see 'au naturale' movements that embrace what is naturally there.

It is so easy to get caught up between ideologies and some boys and girls might feel the need to subscribe to one set of beliefs. 

Beauty standards change through time, depending on the kind of aesthetics and beliefs of a certain generation? (Remember when it was cool to shave your brows with a thin line?) It is so refreshing to see that the current youth adhere to the more realistic expectations.

It is important to see why it is so -- the past have seen the ridicule of brown or dark skin  wide waistline, fluffy hair, stretch marks and acne scars. People were trapped and made fun of when they don't fit it with these standards. Luckily, we have become more accepting of our flaws and imperfect selves.

Again, it is so easy to get caught up in a belief, no matter how good or bad it is.

My point is, being beautiful truly lies on your freedom to choose, not being afraid of what people will say with your choices, and accepting how others want to make themselves look. Of course, there should a sense of responsibility with these choices. 

You want to show off your hairy armpits?

You want to wax your armpits?

You want to dye your armpit hair, braid it?

You want hairy legs?

You want to wax it?

You want your dark skin?

You want to whiten it?

All of these are fine because of the first word. YOU. 

Beauty standards are only evil when you criticize and make fun of people for what they are or what they want to be. I don't see anything wrong with using whitening soaps the same way I don't see anything wrong with loving your natural dark skin as long it is YOUR CHOICE.

There is power in respecting your own choice and respecting other's choices. There is beauty in making yourself pretty because you love yourself and not because you want others to love you.

YOU DO YOU. YOU LOVE YOU.

Improve yourself base on how you see fit and not according to what other force you to do.

THOUGHTS: Accept that you are disposable and replaceable to others

June 09, 2020

There is strength in the affirmation that you will be okay no matter what happens. 

In life, people come and go. Sometimes,or most times, we cling to them and find it hard to accept that we must part ways one point in time -- probably for other people or for other passions. We are heartbroken. We just cannot accept it, right? We have to fight for them no matter what and they should fight for us, too, right? Isn't that what the songs and movies have prepared us for?

I am sure you already know that this is not always the case. Sometimes, you have to let people go and people have to let us go, too.

The pain from all this comes from not being able to accept that we are disposable and replaceable. 

Subconsciously, we show our best selves to those people in the hopes that they will like us, love us, and stay with us. The truth is far from that. It seems to be a glitch in the system that we cannot accept. People enjoy people, but when the time comes, they must leave especially if there is a reason. Sometimes, there aren't any even.

Strength lies in the acceptance that YOU ARE DISPOSABLE AND REPLACEABLE and there is even more strength in the knowledge that even though you may have been disposed and replaced, you are still you. They never took your personality, your happy attitude, your education, the things you have learned, your hobbies, your friends. They, in fact, did not replace you -- they just replaced themselves.

There is heartbreak, loads of it 'cause they did take someone you love, and your possible future with them. You will miss them and the course of moving on will be a hell of a ride. But take happiness from knowing that you still have a place to restart, and that is YOU.

THOUGHTS: He Was Too Small For A World Too Busy To Even Look At Him

And so he just looked at the world instead.

He arrived one Sunday evening. Like that summer starry night, he was quiet. But like the night, he was gentle. He came out of his hiding place brushing his nose on their feet, like a greeting. He was too small, they said. Too early, too early, they gave him out to die. He needs his mother, someone to warm him, breasts to suckle on. 

But he was here already and he was too polite, embarrassed of his own existence that he hid himself as if not to disturb them from their normal lives. His was a gentle soul. He had a big heart for something too small.

He liked to look at the afternoon scenery. He enjoyed the warmth of the morning sun. He would spend long hours warming his small body. He had found a home at last. A home that would make him ride the tricycle every morning. A home that fed him milk and his favorite rice. He had a bright future for a while. He would belong to the family. He would become a part of the pack. He wagged his tail and awed everyone. Isn't this the puppy that mothered itself? He cleaned his paws, cleaned his own body cause mother was just a memory. He was pitiful but a lovely creature. They all hoped for him to be a big, strong dog. Someone they would call 'Wawa.' He was pitiful but an admirable dog. 

But one afternoon, he went into a series of shaking. He did not touch his milk, his rice. He slept in the dark corner and it brought all forms of sadness.

Alas, he is indeed still too small. His heart is probably just the size of a pea and his body isn't strong. He slept all day and didn't show off the happy prancing of his four little feet...

Life is short, and if yours will be, remember you are loved. Remember how you made everyone happy just because you were strong. If there are some who deserved heaven, they are the ones with the purest souls, and yours, our little darling, is one of the brightest.

June 07, 2020

To Wawa and to other billions of uncared cats and dogs who were 'just another drop in the ocean'

THOUGHTS: I Wish To Be The Kind Of Beauty That Sparks Inspiration, Not Envy

June 04, 2020

I wish to be that kind of beautiful that doesn't spark envy among other women. I wish to be the kind of beautiful that inspires others to feel beautiful as well.

I wish to be that kind of beautiful that plants seeds and grows beautiful things. I wish to be that kind of beauty that gives off warmth and welcome.

I want to be that kind of beautiful that keeps on learning and teaching others.

I want to be that kind of beautiful that sits in the afternoon sun and reflects on her day about the things that she is grateful for.

I want to be that kind of beautiful that allows herself to be weak and accepts that life isn't always kind.

I want to be that kind of beautiful that takes in the weak and helps them find their voice and strength.

I want to be that kind of beautiful that patiently waits.

I want to be that kind of beautiful that listens true.

I want to be that kind of beautiful that takes up arms for the right cause and is not afraid to fight for what is right.

I want to be that kind of beautiful that speak out against injustice.

I want to be that kind of beautiful that isn't afraid to cry.

I want to be that kind of beautiful that loves herself.

And despite all my insecurities, anxieties, my imperfections and my flaws, I will work on myself everyday to be that kind of beautiful.